


There is a Light That Never Goes Out

by WolfstarGarden



Series: The Smiths Triptych [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Everybody Lives, Family Issues, Fluff, M/M, Sexual Tension, jily, just some light happy stuff really, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-07 02:13:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10350081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfstarGarden/pseuds/WolfstarGarden
Summary: Sirius’ breath puffed a warm tickle around his ear. “You’re gorgeous... I want to take you out, somewhere nice, away from Prongs and Evans. Can I?”Remus opened his mouth, but the yes he had intended instead came out, “Why?”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo... I was gonna proof read this again before I posted it, but eh. So, 'pologies if it's kinda rough or obvious mistakes - if they're super bad lemme know and I'll polish it some more.
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> Here's the artwork This is non-gif but follow the link on the page if you're safe with flashing lights.

“ _James, ring me as soon as you get this._ ”

l-l

Sirius paced restlessly, spitefully hoping that the thudding of his boots was disturbing everyone in the house as he clomped angrily across the floorboards. James was taking too long in getting back to him. He must have noticed the voice message by now. It was getting late; if he didn’t hear back soon he would miss the last train. He couldn’t wait until tomorrow.

Voices echoed foggily up the stairs, every bit as loud and as angry as Sirius’ feet. Desperation flooded his brain, fuelling his impulsive fury. When the phone rang, he started violently before snatching it up.

l-l

 _I’m out front_.

It was twenty minutes later when James texted his arrival. Sirius hiked his window up and leant out; James waved up at him from the sidewalk, standing beside his illegally parked car. He gestured and Sirius snatched up a pair of bags, tossing them out the window, thanking every possible god for James’ athleticism; he barely stumbled as he caught them despite the momentum. Next out the window were Sirius’ boots, and then he swung out himself, shimmying down the drainpipe in bare feet with well-practised skill.

James threw Sirius’ bags onto his back seat. “Get in,” he said, and by the time Sirius was settled against the leather upholstery and buckling his safety belt, James was beside him, roaring the car to life and peeling away before Sirius’ family had a chance to realise what was happening. “Good thing I was in town today,” James said when they stopped at an intersection a few moments later. “It might have been a bloody long wait otherwise.”

 “Thanks,” Sirius said, preoccupied. He couldn’t stop fidgeting, his right leg jigging with involuntary ire.

Neither of them spoke again until they had passed the worst mayhem of the suburbs and were speeding along quieter country highways. “Wanna tell me what happened, brother?” James asked softly.

Sirius sighed, brushing a hand across his frustrated forehead. “Same thing as always happens. She started on me, I started back. She did her usual spiel – I’m an embarrassment, an abomination ... I had enough.” Sirius twisted to face James who glanced back at him. “I’m never going back, James. I want nothing more to do with them. I can manage without the family money. I’ll just ... be a waif.”

“Best looking waif I’ve ever seen,” James said lightly. He was quiet for a moment, absorbing the news then he said firmly, “You’re bloody staying with me. As long as you need, Sirius.”

“What about Lily?” Sirius asked quietly, staring out the window at the rolling green farmland.

“She won’t mind,” James assured him.

Godric’s Hollow was an untouched hamlet on the border of suburbia – a small township of close-knit people surrounded by acres of rural properties, but only a stone’s throw from the nearest major centre. Within forty-five minutes, James had skittered up the gravel drive of his cottage and was steering Sirius towards the guest wing. “Your usual room, Mister Padfoot,” James said, hefting Sirius’ bags onto the bed. “Lily’s got a friend staying though, so you’ll be sharing the bathroom.”

“That’s fine,” Sirius muttered, distracted. James clapped him on the shoulder and ducked out to brew some tea, leaving Sirius to himself for a few minutes. The sudden silence roared in his head, deafening him. He needed a diversion. With a gentle growl, Sirius twisted his hair back and marched to the kitchen. James had a teapot and leftover pizza on the table, waiting.

“Let’s go out tonight.”

James slid a cup towards him, grinning as he sipped mildly. His hazel eyes assessed Sirius shrewdly, noting his obvious agitation. “Got somewhere in mind?”

 “Anywhere. Take me anywhere. I don’t care.”

“Lily wanted me to join her at Club Marauder tonight. Fancy wagging your tail to some dance music?”

Sweating people, pounding music, bright lights, _living_... a genuine smile stretched Sirius’ face for the first time since he’d gone on term break and returned to Grimmauld Place. “Fuck yes.”

James thumbed his glasses up. “Lily will be glad. It’s been a while since we’ve gone out for something fun together.”

Sirius frowned, alarmed. “She’s not already at the club alone, is she?”

 “Nah, she’s got Moony with her.”

“Who?”

“Oh, Remus – our friend who’s staying. Lily met him at Mansfield way back when. He got into Wolfson this year.”

“Right clever clogs, huh?”

“You know I’m only mates with the best,” James replied loftily.

“You mean the desperate and needy. Nobody else would have you,” Sirius baited him with a sly grin.

“While I grant that charity to you,” James said smoothly, pointing a slice of pizza at him, “I resent you referring to my betrothed so disparagingly. Just wait; one day you’ll fancy someone and I will wreak a revenge most sweet.”

“Prongs, we agreed that you’d stop being poetic. It really doesn’t suit you.”

James stuck out his tongue and they laughed together. He leant over and rumpled a hand through Sirius’ hair. “I’ve missed you, Padfoot.”

“Missed you, too, man.”

l-l

The club was far busier than Sirius would have expected for a small town, brimful with hot bodies. Sirius breathed deep, soaking in the sticky atmosphere, sweet and sweaty.

“Let’s hit the bar,” James said over the strains of thumping bass. “Get a round in, then try and find Lily and Remus.”

James grabbed his wrist and dragged him through the throng, stopping with an astonishing frequency to speak to random people. Sirius had forgotten the camaraderie in Godric’s Hollow, and how popular James was. Everyone seemed to have a kind word for him – and he got to skip the line at the bar, shuffling to the front so smoothly nobody seemed to even notice until his thin, grinning face appeared beside them.

Shortly afterwards, with drinks in hand, they moved towards the dance floor looking for Lily. After a few moments scanning the throng James pointed his beer bottle excitedly towards the shock of bright hair swinging under the scoping strobe lights.

Lily was grinning broadly as she danced with a tall, lean man who tugged her close. He exuded an effortless sex appeal that contrasted attractively with a bookish cuteness, piquing Sirius’ interest. Lily swayed into his rocking hips with a provocative grind, her hands reaching back and stroking sinuously over his body. He grinned, mouth pressing too close to her throat, his hands sliding low down her hips.

White heat blinded Sirius and he snatched James’ arm, waiting for the eruption of jealousy or murderous rage. “It can’t be how it looks!”

Sirius wasn’t prepared for laughter. James knocked him with his elbow and yelled, “Of course it isn’t, ponce!” He grinned at Sirius’ shock, then wove his way into the crowd to get Lily’s attention.

She jumped excitedly into his arms, kissing James with sweet passion. Sirius looked discreetly away, eyes drawn suspiciously back to Lily’s dance partner. He was startled when James pulled the stranger into a brief hug as well – and then realised that this must be Remus. Red and yellow college shields down the arm of his denim jacket confirmed it, and reassured, Sirius swigged his beer as he ran a curious eye over the man who was undeniably his type.

The three of them moved towards a bar table at the edge of the dance floor. Sirius’ mouth twisted in a wry pout. It was just typical of his luck that he’d be living in close quarters with an unobtainable attractive man - and then he noticed the tri-coloured arm band peeking from under his sleeve. Grinning with a sudden hopeful interest, Sirius made to join them.

l-l

Remus let Lily tow him away from the dance floor even though he was enjoying himself. James tucked a beer into his hand and Remus swigged gratefully, brushing damp curls back from his brow as he leant against their table.

“D’you know how sexy you are?” James crooned at Lily. Remus rolled his eyes as she laughed in her gentle way.

“Only thanks to Moony,” she replied fairly, flashing him a smile.

Remus was about to answer when a strange man slipped between them and grinned. “Hey. Dance with me?”

Remus surged with protective affront, narrowing his eyes. Lily was slim and pretty; he was well versed in scaring off any man astute enough to realise that they weren’t a couple. “She’s engaged,” Remus growled lowly.

But Lily shrieked, leaping enthusiastically into the stranger’s arms. Baffled, Remus hid behind his beer as a brief conversation flowed amongst his friends and the newcomer, Lily’s affectionate face reflecting surprise and concern as sentences were lost under the strains of music. Remus looked away, idly scanning the dance floor for someone to replace Lily with when the stranger tapped his shoulder.

 “I actually meant you,” he said, smoothly tucking a lock of glossy black hair behind his ear. “Dance with me?”

James and Lily swayed slowly together, watching with obvious glee.

Remus nearly choked on his beer, hoping his face didn’t look too ridiculous in his spluttering astonishment. “Uh, me?” he asked stupidly watching as the hand dropped again, his eyes sliding idly over lean limbs, tight jeans, inked muscles bared in a loose singlet. A rush of warm blood settled in his groin, stirring lowly and Remus forced his eyes up instead, meeting a handsome, chiselled face. _Fuck_ he thought, and then his brain sputtered and fizzled out.

“Fucking dance with him, Moony!” James cheered over the music, and before Remus could reply he was pulled back to the dance floor by the broad, warm hand that had wrapped itself around his own.

“I’m Sirius.” Sirius grinned and Remus’ insides turned to liquid. That smile would drown him.

“Uh, Remus.”

Sirius began to wriggle, sidling carefully into Remus’ space. Remus sensed a confusing air of sadness lingering beneath his confidence.

 Sirius was smiling at him, softly. “Are you shy, Remus?”

Startled, Remus laughed. “No, not really. Just ... taken aback.”

Sirius reached for his hands, tugging him into step. “Why?”

Remus shrugged and said, “I don’t tend to get hit on. And I didn’t realise I was so obviously camp.”

Sirius laughed, a warm bark. “Oh, you’re definitely not! No, I saw your armband. Hoped that maybe I’d be your type.”

Remus glanced at his wrist, surprised. He’d been wearing the band for so long that more often than not he forgot it was there, the colours as much a part of him as the hue of his eyes or his unshakeable thinness. He quirked his mouth mysteriously, meeting Sirius’ eyes. “Maybe,” he agreed.

The depth of music made conversation impossible, so Remus gave in to dancing instead. It was something he loved, an instinctual, sensual exercise ... and with Sirius, Remus thought it could easily become almost like foreplay. The man clearly had formal training but was also blessed with natural grace.

They gradually moved closer as they found a rhythm, Sirius tossing his long hair in time with the music; _I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth..._ he grinned and grasped Remus’ face between his hands, gently pushing his head side to side. Remus laughed, shaking out his hair.

Sirius’ hand rested lightly on his neck, hot fingers warming Remus’ blood. A tingling need dribbled down Remus’ spine as Sirius laughed with him. His fingers snagged a brown curl, toying with it as he shuffled closer. Remus’ breath caught in his throat as Sirius leant in, warm breath caressing his ear as he murmured, “You’re gorgeous...”

Remus shuddered, his cock twitching unexpectedly. He snatched Sirius’ hand, dragging him towards the beer garden. He needed to cool off – it had been too damn long since he’d felt such instant attraction.

It was blissfully cool and quiet outside. A few groups mingled around, curls of blue cigarette smoke decorating the night air. Remus locked his hand around a balustrade, the bright moon reflected in the river below drawing his eye. Sirius settled beside him, canting back with casual sexiness. He gazed at Remus with amused, cocky knowing. “How d’you know Lily and James?” Remus asked to cover his fluster. Sirius was standing too close, a solid, lusty presence.

“James and I were in the same house at Eton. We’ve been friends since first form.” Sirius’ grin held its own enticing mysteriousness. “He told me you and Lily met at Oxford? My family always enrols at Magdalene.”

“Too regimented for my taste,” Remus demurred. They began to talk about school, careers – safe topics to hide under as Remus fought to keep desire from swallowing his senses. Sirius wasn’t making it easy for him though, and Remus suspected strongly that was deliberate.

“So you board on campus?” Sirius asked, reaching out slowly to tuck a stray curl behind Remus’ ear. His eyes glowed with secret mischief. It made Remus delightfully nervous.

“Yeah. You?”

Sirius shrugged, hand falling back to his side. “Yeah ... but I’m not sure if I’ll go back next term. Might crash down here for a while, I guess.”

“Oh, you’re local then?”

Sirius shrugged. “Nah, James is putting me up.” He tipped his head, hair sweeping across his shoulders, eyes flickering with guarded uncertainty. “It’s a long story.”

A rill of panicked excitement swept through Remus. Something deep and secret, serious and painful was going on right here – adding desire to the mix was just asking for trouble. Hideous apprehension crept in as Remus realised that Sirius might be playing for him as easy and convenient.

Still, Sirius was damnably alluring and despite his doubts Remus was enjoying himself. When they returned to the dance floor the pounding riffs brought them quickly together, impulse and instinct driving them in a heady physicality which threatened to become something desirously hard.

Somewhere in it all, Remus turned off his brain and coasted on feeling: the rasp of Sirius’ cheek against his, the firm planes of his body. They moved as if they’d been touching for years. Remus leaned into the pleasurable tide, coiling an arm around Sirius’ waist and holding him firm as he slid his thigh between Sirius’ legs, tipping his weight subtly forward.

“ _Ah_. Fuck!” Sirius rolled his hips, hands biting into Remus’ waist. Remus growled, delighted at the press of Sirius’ half-hard cock against him. Laughing, he shifted, enjoying Sirius’ annoyance as he surged forwards seeking Remus’ wiry warmth. Their eyes met for a moment ... and something froze between them, shivering electric and drowning out their deafening surroundings. Suddenly unnerved, Remus blinked and the spell was broken.

Sirius hooked a hand around his neck and hauled him in sharply, lips raking across Remus’ stubble. He shuddered, Sirius’ breath puffing a warm tickle around his ear. “You’re gorgeous...” he nipped cheekily at Remus’ earlobe. “I want to take you out ... somewhere nice, away from Prongs and Evans. Can I?”

Remus shivered. This was bad, too many reasons why he should say no. If they were going to be living together for a week, though ... it would be smart to get away from just lust. Remus opened his mouth, but the yes he had intended instead came out, “Why?”

Sirius was startled. “Because you’re sexy and I’d like to take you to bed?” he offered. Remus flicked his eyebrows mildly and Sirius laughed. “Okay. I’m not that guy. I’d just like to get to know you better ... you interest me. Please come out with me.”

 “Where?” Remus blurted, kicking himself mentally as Sirius squeezed him close and huffed impatiently against his clavicle.

“Gods, you don’t make this easy for a guy, do you?”

“I’m sorry,” Remus stammered, spinning them in time to the music and trying not to bury his nose in Sirius’ hair. It smelled like rosemary. “I’m not very used to ... being picked up.”

Sirius drawled, “You don’t say? Well, what would be your ideal date?”

Remus laughed. “Somewhere with music. _Live_ music.”

“I’ll ask James. We can go now ... give them some time alone. They’ll have precious little of it over the next few days.”

Sirius’ obvious enthusiasm spiked Remus’ doubts again, but he nodded before he could talk himself out of it. Sirius’ eyes gleamed silver in the swooping lights, his bright smile infectious.

They found James and Lily dancing slowly, as hopelessly out of time with the music as they were in time with each other. Sirius pawed at James with what was obviously characteristic tactlessness, hollering. Matching smiles stretched across James’ and Lily’s faces, and the former gestured wildly before Sirius turned back to Remus and led him out into the night.

l-l

With a local band playing, the pub James recommended was a pleasant change. Remus was perfect company after Sirius’ turbulent day, and just his type – sarcastic and quietly funny, possessed of a unique attractiveness. Long and effortless conversations with him since they’d left the club had helped lighten the stress he’d been feeling..

Remus was also devilishly sexy and far more distracting than Sirius would have liked under the circumstances. Still, as they walked home tipsy and cold Sirius slipped close against him, deeply breathing the night time jasmine mingling with Remus’ cologne. His arm crept around Remus’ waist, nose dropping into the curve of his shoulder to seek the salt-musk scent of his skin. Sirius tugged him sharply and Remus stumbled closer, palm slapping into Sirius’ chest for balance.

“Hello,” Sirius grinned, tipping their heads together. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“You did that on purpose,” Remus said, trying to struggle away.

 Sirius held him tight. “Yes, I did. Now hug me, Remus, won’t you?”

Sirius could _hear_ him rolling his eyes, but a warm arm slunk around his waist. They found a comfortable stride as Remus led the way back towards James’ house, Sirius snuggled into his steady warmth.

James and Lily weren’t home when they arrived. Alone in the cottage, a sudden physical awkwardness bloomed. Remus coughed, tipping his weight vacantly between his feet as they loitered in the sitting room. “So, uh ... was this a date? Am I meant to invite you back to my room now?” Remus eventually murmured, flicking Sirius a startlingly direct glance.

“Do you want to?” Sirius asked, happily surprised. Quickly, he threw a hand up and said, “No, don’t answer that. I ... yes, I would call tonight a date. A spontaneous one, but yes all the same. And no, Remus, don’t invite me because I actually _am_ a gentleman, you know ... ‘never on the first date’. But I have poor self-control, and...”

Remus flicked an amused eyebrow at him. “I respect you more this way,” he slurred. Then, in a more subdued tone he said, “Actually, I’m glad we went out alone tonight. I had a really good time.”

“Me too,” Sirius said. He stepped closer, rubbing a hand slowly up Remus’ jaw, lost in his gleaming eyes. “You know, I’ve never really felt quite this comfortable with anyone before. I like you.” His tongue darted across his lips.

Remus watched him with stoical amusement. Sirius’ confidence had deserted him suddenly, lost somewhere beneath the wave of Remus’ amber eyes. He wasn’t even sure that a kiss was a good idea after the emotional whirlwind he was twisting through, but Sirius simply couldn’t resist. Magnetically, he curled closer, pressing his lips to Remus’ mouth with questioning chasteness. Remus’ breath caught and then his hand snagged quick in Sirius’ hair, smoothly twisting the kiss into something burning and desperate. Remus’ tongue slid hot into his mouth and Sirius whimpered as a surge of yearning hit deep in his belly.

Sirius hauled Remus against him, circling his hips forward. Their cocks bumped briefly, firm flesh seeking friction. Sirius forced himself back with an aching moan. “Fuck, Remus ... what you do to me... I have to go to bed before it’s too late.”

“It’s already too late,” piped a cheery female voice from the doorway. Sirius and Remus both whipped around to find a flushed and gleeful Lily watching them, while James rolled his eyes and marched towards the kitchen. “Sirius, you _dog_.”

Remus smirked indulgently. “Well, Lily’s fantasies are taken care of for the night; my work is done. I’m for bed.” Sirius’ belly fluttered pleasurably when Remus turned to him again. His eyes were dark but controlled and he trailed his fingers carefully along the ridge of Sirius’ jaw, leaning in to press their mouths together for one last, promising moment.

Sirius watched as Remus strode evenly from the room. He brushed his fingers thoughtfully across his lips, starting when an arm slid suddenly around his waist. Lily was blinking happily up at him, green eyes compassionately soft. Tenderly she said, “When a door closes, somewhere a window opens, you know. It’s a light that never goes out.”

Sirius paused, only half understanding. His thoughts ran to his family and to Remus, the growing tangle of his tense life. “What is, exactly?”

Lily squeezed him, strumming her fingers to the centre of Sirius’ chest lightly, mimicking the unsteady rap of his heart. “Hope.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was inspired by a beautiful piece by the marvellous UpTheHill artwork of Sirius hitting on Remus in a night club. After months of trying to make the scene work as more than PWP, I finally had the inspiration to mix it with The Smiths song "There is a Light That Never Goes Out" and I'm very pleased with it.
> 
> I have written another chapter to it, with the idea of making it a three-part, but it's more likely it'll just stay stand alone. Hope you liked! :D
> 
> P.S. I'd always wanted to write Sirius singing and dancing "I whip my hair back and forth"!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the main reason I wasn't going to continue this is 'cause I don't want all my fics to necessarily include smut. But, the Muse was pestering me, so here's chapter 2 (one more chapter to come since I decided to commit), including some scenes of a sexual nature that may not be safe for work. Enjoy!

A strange awkwardness hovered around the cottage at Godric’s Hollow. Remus noticed it amplified every time he looked at Sirius. It thrummed deep in his core, both uncomfortable and oddly pleasant.

Sirius in the daytime seemed more reserved than the man he had met at the club, but Remus was astute – he could see that there was something bothering him, something he wasn’t ready to discuss.

“I’m a very good listener,” Remus offered one morning, sat across the breakfast table from each other.

Sirius squinted up at him, expression conflicted. They’d had little time alone together, but it had been heavy with flirty exchanges, an odd balance of trying to get to know each other and get each other riled up. Either way, Remus found they were getting on very well, their humour complimentary and basic values well-aligned. After a pensive moment, Sirius sighed. “Wanna go for a drive?”

Remus nodded slowly. James and Lily were going to be busy all day, so they could borrow his car. Sirius hadn’t left the house since he’d arrived. He looked restless and pent up. “Sounds great,” Remus said and Sirius flashed grateful eyes at him.

But the agitation rippling beneath Sirius’ leather jacket didn’t seem to ease for getting out. Remus waited patiently for Sirius to speak, concentrating on the road. At length, Sirius huffed out a heavy breath. “I’m having trouble with my family.”

Remus took a breath, glanced over at him. “Anything in particular?”

Sirius’ jacket creaked as he shrugged his shoulders aggressively. “Everything. It’s everything. We just don’t get on. I ... well, there’s a lot of bad blood on both sides, but it’s hard because despite it all ... they’re my family.”

Remus shot him a compassionate look. “I can’t imagine what that’s like. D’you think you’ve done the right thing?”

Sirius let his breath out in a loud, frustrated pant. Finally he nodded, hair slipping around his face. “Yeah.”

 There was nothing Remus could think to say. Despite how well they got on, he didn’t know Sirius’ family history, and he didn’t know him well enough to offer advice. So instead he slipped his hand off the steering wheel and rested it for a moment on Sirius’ thigh, squeezing tight to show support. A delightful thrill sped up his spine when Sirius’ hand closed over his.

The heaviness that had been blocking them dissipated softly and the easy companionship they’d been developing filtered back in. They’d already had a lot of ‘getting to know you’ conversations, sitting around with James and Lily at meal times and in the evenings, laughing together and driving Lily mad with idle glances and innuendoes.

So Remus was slightly surprised when Sirius curled their fingers together and softly asked, “Remus ... can we have a second date?”

“Oh,” he replied. “I thought we’d sort of moved past that already. The last two days have felt like one long run-on date to me.”     

Sirius barked a laugh. “Me too, I guess. But I told you I’m gentlemanly – I’d like to date you properly. Woo you.”

Remus laughed. “You’re too cute.”

Sirius spluttered. “I’ve never been called _cute_ before!”

Remus turned onto a narrow side road, hedged with ancient beech trees and pulled over. Unclipping his safety belt, he turned to Sirius and stroked soft fingers along his unshaven jaw. “Debonair, then,” he murmured with a smile before leaning forwards and snatching Sirius’ lips in a hungry kiss. Sirius was startled for a moment, then his hand curled tight around Remus’ head and hauled him in, tongue darting over Remus’ lips.

The kiss was deep and hot. Sirius held  him close, Remus skittering his hands down Sirius’ chest, humming approval as muscles rippled beneath the graze of his fingertips. Sirius broke from him with a gasped, “Is this why you pulled over?”

Remus quirked his lips gently in reply, looping his fingers into Sirius’ waistband and smoothly popping the fly button. He bit his bottom lip and glanced up to gauge Sirius’ reaction. Sirius greeted him with breathlessly parted lips and surprised eyes, answering with a subtle cant of his hips. Remus grinned and slid the zipper down, ducking back in to kiss Sirius quickly as he fumbled inside his trousers and curled his hand around Sirius’ cock, murmuring appreciatively as it hardened under his touch.

Moving fast, Remus pulled back and dropped himself into Sirius’ lap, sliding his mouth smoothly over his hard prick. A breathy cry tore from Sirius’ throat, hips arching sharply upwards. Remus chuckled smugly as a hand curled tight through his hair.

Remus sucked deep, ignoring the awkward angle as he took Sirius down his throat. Sirius’ fingers flexed against his scalp, breath a thready whimper as Remus slid wetly around him, circling the head as he came up, then bobbing down again, his nose brushing the soft curls peppering Sirius’ abdomen. He swallowed carefully, throat rippling hand against Sirius’ shaft.

“Fuck, Remus...” Sirius gasped. Beneath Remus’ hands, he was trembling, body tightening with tell-tale need.

“Mm,” Remus hummed permission and Sirius groaned loud and wild as he came moments later in hot, pulsing spurts.

Remus leisurely licked every last drop of fluid from Sirius’ over-sensitised flesh, swallowing pleasurably. His own cock was stirred uncomfortably hard, but he ignored his own need as he tucked Sirius’ cock away and deftly fastened his trousers. Glancing up, he laughed at Sirius’ astounded, blissful face.

Sirius’ head lolled sideways. “Where did that come from?” he asked, voice a little high.

Remus licked his lips and leant back. “You looked stressed. I thought it might do you some good.” He wanted to laugh at the incredulity in Sirius’ eyes. “We had better move before we get cleaned up by a lorry,” Remus continued mildly, adjusting himself and starting the car again.

“What a way to go,” Sirius muttered, limpid eyes glued to him. Remus’ mouth twitched but he didn’t answer as he turned the car back to the main road. After a moment, Sirius’ hand trailed across Remus’ hip and he flinched. “Thanks.”

“The pleasure was mine,” Remus replied, flashing him a brief smile and brushing his fingers away so Sirius wouldn’t feel obligated to reciprocate. But Sirius startled Remus by curling their hands tight together instead.

l-l

Sirius was glad to get out, and Remus was better company than he could have hoped. After pleasantly rambling around the countryside, Sirius offered to drive home. Remus sat beside him, mild and calm. He had no idea what was going on behind those amber eyes and it was driving him mad. Finally, the words just spilled out.

“Remus, I actually like you, you know.”

Remus coughed on his takeaway coffee. “Ah. Thank you.”

“I mean ... not just because of sex or anything. I’m definitely not complaining, but I don’t expect favours when I’m getting to know a guy. And just because I’ve been preoccupied doesn’t mean I don’t want to get to know you.”

Remus smiled. “Good to know. But I did it as much for myself as for you, Sirius. The tension was getting unbearable.”

“Huh. Thought it was just me. And hey ... you were right. You’re a good listener. Thanks.” Sirius glanced over and found Remus watching him softly. He licked his lips, slightly nervous. “You never answered me properly before. Can we still have a proper date? Supper, tomorrow?”

Remus’ eyes glittered. “Of course. _Woo_ _me_ , Sirius.”

Sirius laughed, surprised. “Oh, I will. Prepare yourself.”

“You’d better deliver. I’m going to mark you for it.” Remus leant over and pressed his lips briefly to Sirius’ cheek.

Lily and James were home when they arrived back at Godric’s Hollow. Lily glanced at them, grinning as she snagged Sirius to help her in the kitchen, shooing James and Remus away. Before Remus slid out of sight, Sirius caught his eye and they shared a knowing look – their friends’ attempt at divide-and-conquer gossip mongering was hopelessly transparent.

Lily shoved Sirius towards the bench, glancing sideways as him, excitedly. “You had sex, didn’t you?” she squeaked.

“A little bit,” Sirius said shiftily, and filled her in briefly. Lily wanted more details than Sirius was willing to give. He stared at her bemused.

“Look, Remus isn’t a tart Sirius – I’ve known him a long time and he’s a great guy. You treat him right and you won’t find a man more loyal or steadfast.”

Sirius was quiet for a moment, peeling vegetables. “I really fancy him,” he said softly. “And I’ve never   felt so comfortable with anyone this quick – except Prongs.”

Lily stuck a mixing spoon under his nose. “D’you think this needs some chilli? Anyway, I’m glad. And I wouldn’t normally interfere like this, but I think you’d be good for each other.”

Sirius made to answer when his phone suddenly rang, bleating loudly from his pocket: ‘ _I whip my hair back and forth!’_ Throwing Lily an apologetic glance, he fished it out and glanced at the id as he punched the receiver. “Uncle?”

“I go away for a fortnight and you disappear off the face of the planet! Where the hell are you, lad?”

Sirius flushed, turning away from Lily’s carefully uncurious face. “I’m okay, I’m down with Prongs and Evans. But I’m not going back there, Uncle. I can get work without a grad level and I don’t need their money. I’ll be fine.”

“Shut your mouth for once, would you lad?” Alphard’s gruff, familiar voice soothed him and Sirius fell silent. “I won’t make you go back to Grimmauld Place. You don’t have to ever deal with them again if you don’t want to. But you’ve got to _think_ before you act, lad. You’re welcome to come live with me, and I can put up your tuition.”

“Thanks,” Sirius started to decline, but Alphard cut him off again.

“Shut it, Sirius! Now, don’t you be a drama queen down there with Potter. I’m glad you’re safe and I won’t hold you up. You call me tomorrow, alright? I’m free all day.”

Sirius dipped his head, hair falling forwards. “Yes, Uncle. But you don’t have to worry about me, you know.”

“Ah, I’ve got no one else to worry about. Anyway, in this family it’s always been you and me. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, and make sure you damn well think before doing things, rash pup.”

Sirius hung up, turning to find Lily watching him quietly. She asked quietly, “Alright?”

Sirius nodded and a grin spread slowly across his face. “Yeah. That was Alphard. He’s just found out I left home and was checking up on me.”

“He sounded cross. I could hear his voice.”

Sirius laughed. “He always sounds like that. He loves me really.”

Lily wrapped an arm around him, hugging him close to her soft, peaceful body. “I suppose statistically somebody has to.”

“Oi!” Sirius squeezed her in return. “And yes, add some chilli.”

l-l

Remus had slunk to the sitting room, seeking some quiet. He’d left a book on the coffee table and had just settled in an armchair and flipped it open when James wandered in behind him.

 “You guys hooked up, didn’t you?”

Remus glanced up, smiling with mysterious mildness. “I gave him a blow job, yes,” he said and enjoyed the squirm of discomfort that shuddered through James.

“In my car?” he asked queasily. Remus smirked; James was altogether too fond of his car.

“The seats are leather, dear,” he reassured teased, patting James’ hand indulgently and earning a scowl in return.

James fixed him in a narrow glare. “So ... are you guys a thing then?”

Remus shrugged. “Is this a ‘what are your intentions’ talk? The best I can give you is a maybe, James.”

“Eh, I’m just curious. Sirius gets plenty of interest, looking the way he does, but he’s pretty discriminating when it comes to dating. He doesn’t just hook up when life’s got him down.” James grinned and sat back. “I can see how much he likes you, and you’re a dependable guy, Moony. I think you’d be good for each other. Good together.”

Remus blinked, sweet surprise warming him. “Huh. Well, thanks.”

l-l

The next day Sirius spent some time working things out with his Uncle Alphard. He had tried, nobly, to turn down the money, but Alphard was dismissive, seeming glad of an excuse to spend some of his not inconsiderable wealth. In the evening, James and Lily went out for supper offering the cottage to Sirius. He made a spectacular effort cooking for Remus, setting an idly romantic atmosphere.

They talked about his prospects over the meal.

“It would be good to finish my graduate ... but not at Magdalene. It was never the right fit, and ... it just wouldn’t feel right.”

“Come to Wolfson, with me,” Remus offered, eyes smiling. “It’s great. They probably offer your course.”

Sirius leant around the table and brushed his fingers over Remus’ knee. “And we could even be roommates,” he suggested, grinning.

 “How presumptuous of you,” Remus replied loftily.

Sirius wriggled closer, suddenly earnest. The air had been thick between them all night, and he couldn’t take another minute of the tension. “I’m hoping it isn’t,” he murmured as he hooked a hand around Remus’ neck, bringing him closer. “This is the strangest fucking way to date that I’ve ever done, but Remus ... I want us to be a thing. A proper thing. And now, whatever else happens we’ll both be in town so we’ll be able to date and see each other. What do you say?”

Remus’ mouth curved upwards, his head tipping carefully into Sirius’ palm. “Okay.”

Sirius grunted. “I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.”

Remus’ eyes shone with a crafty glimmer. “Of course,” he said and smoothly leant in, kissing Sirius with all the burning desire of a denied longing, leaving him breathless and desperately aroused. He dragged his body hard against Remus, sliding his tongue past welcoming lips to taste Remus’ heat.

Sirius gasped and drew back slightly. “Remus ... what date would you say we’re up to?”

Remus laughed, breath humming against his lips. “You want another blow job?”

Sirius groaned, hand sliding hungrily down Remus’ side. “I want more than that...”

“I thought you were a gentleman,” Remus teased, but he was standing, hauling Sirius to his feet. “Not here; we’ve given Lily enough to fantasise about. C’mon.”

Together, they stumbled into Remus’ room, throwing the door shut as they shuffled towards the bed and collapsed in a clumsy tangle of limbs. Remus’ characteristic calm was gone, delightfully degraded into something hot and rumpled and amazingly sexy. Sirius’ strummed his fingers across Remus’ chest, toying with his buttons as he gazed into fierce eyes. “Can I take your shirt off?”

Remus beamed, gasping a moment later as Sirius quickly stripped him and stroked icy fingers across tight-rippling muscles. Sirius eagerly drank in Remus’ lean body, slowly exploring his wiry thinness and moaning with appreciation. He paused, noting some odd marks near the arch of one hip. Remus’ face shaded and with sudden sharp alarm, Sirius sensed that he’d touched something private. Licking his lips he moved on, roaming the expanse of pale flesh stretched before him. His cock twitched.

“Gods, Remus ... you make me fucking hard.” Remus bucked impatiently against him. Sirius snickered and ghosted his words against Remus’ bare skin. “Glad to know the feeling’s mutual. Hm, well, if I caused the problem – and I certainly hope it was me – then I should fix it. Does that sound good to you, Remus?”

Remus’ hands fisted in Sirius’ hair, tugging him in for a greedy kiss. Then he grumbled, “Get on with it then.”

Sirius grinned. His hands skated smoothly over Remus’ body, tracing his lines with calloused fingertips, the ridges of ribcage and hip bone, the firm depression of his abdomen. Breath catching, he grasped Remus’ waistband and popped his flies open. “Life your arse,” he rasped.

Remus canted his pelvis up, lip caught in his teeth. Sirius wriggled his loose jeans off and pressed Remus back into the mattress, climbing over him, needing to feel the press of their bodies together. He pressed his lips into the groove beneath Remus’ jaw, sliding his mouth down the smooth whiteness of his throat. Remus’ fingers nipped into his back as Sirius scrabbled a hand between them and squeezed hard around Remus’ erection. A low, moaning growl echoed up Remus’ throat, resonating with heartfelt desire. Sirius’ hair stood on end. “Fuck,” he mumbled, giving an experimental twist. “How..?”

Remus curled his hand over Sirius’, and showed him how he liked to be touched. It didn’t take long for Sirius to find a rhythm, twisting and tugging and Remus head flung back, banging hard against the headboard. “Ow,” he muttered vaguely, hips rolling up. Sirius smoothed his hand behind Remus’ head and sucked hard on his neck as he pumped. He was harder than he could ever remember being, aching to be touched. Remus was growling softly, his skin hot and electric and Sirius rocked against his thigh.

Remus’ fingers twisted painfully in Sirius’ hair as a few clever twists brought him to the boil. Remus writhed against him, finding Sirius’ mouth in a searing kiss and crying his release around Sirius’ tongue as he came in a hard throbs.

“Gah...” Remus gazed blearily at Sirius, clinging tightly to him. “Mm. Fuck, sorry.”

Sirius blinked back, bemused. “Don’t be sorry. We’ve got plenty of time for tricks and stamina. I just needed to ... touch you.”

“Mm ... and how am I supposed to touch you back when you’re still fully dressed?”

Sirius grinned, pressing his lips to Remus’ in a deep, languid kiss. “Go wash up, I’ll get us a drink.”

Remus cast a sheepish eye over his splattered body, then nodded. “Okay. I’ll be but a minute.” He clambered out from under Sirius, stepping into his discarded jeans and headed for the bathroom.

Sirius slunk into the kitchen, surreptitiously checking that James and Lily were still out as he poured some whiskey and sauntered smugly back to the bedroom. A moment later, Remus entered and eyed him narrowly. “No. That won’t do at all.”

Sirius glanced up, stomach plummeting in horror. “What’s wrong?”

Remus’ eyebrow twitched. “What you’re wearing. I thought I implied that you were to get undressed.”

Relieved, Sirius smiled, lips parting to offer a flirty reply, but Remus swiftly crossed the room and dropped to his knees, shuffling between Sirius’ legs. With a dark glare, he growled lowly, “Take. Your. Clothes. Off. Now.”

Sirius blinked, swallowing his surprise. With a shaky grin, he quickly shed his clothes as Remus watched with feasting eyes. The moment his cock sprang free Remus shoved Sirius down, pinning his hips and wriggling closer, hot tongue laving the muscled ridge of Sirius’ belly. Sirius shivered, Remus slowly tasting him, mouthing a lazy sprawl across arches of bone and sinew, down hair-speckled thighs, ducking with tortuous slowness between Sirius’ legs. He whimpered, arching back.

Remus paused, amused. “Do you want to beg for it?”

A pulse of lust rocketed down his spine. “Remus...” Sirius crooned, heart thudding.

Remus’ grinned wolfishly. “Not good enough,” he murmured, nipping Sirius’ thighs and pressing him down harder.

“P-please?” Sirius gasped, catching Remus’ eyes. He was greeted with a slow smile, then one hand trailed agonisingly slowly around Sirius’ shaft and Remus blew a cold, gentle stream of air across the glans. Sirius quaked and shuddered, his breath a shaky wheeze.

Remus chuckled, flicking his tongue out and into the slit before running the flat of his tongue along the ridge of sensitive flesh gracing the crown. Sirius scrabbled his hands onto Remus’ shoulders, crying out in delight as Remus finally slid Sirius’ cock into his mouth with a long, slow suck, waggling his tongue carefully.

It wasn’t long before the brunet was a quivering, incoherent mess of a man, achingly close to coming permanently undone. Remus swallowed him deep, humming a guttural vibration as he tugged gently on Sirius’ balls. With a strangled yell of profanity Sirius clutched Remus’ hair, holding him desperately in place as he came explosively and Remus eagerly swallowed his every essence.

When he was able to string words together again, Sirius peered down at the rumpled head resting blithely against his thigh and said, “Fucking hell ... how are you so good at that?” Remus twitched an eyebrow in reply and Sirius hurriedly mumbled, “Don’t answer that. Fuck, you’re so gorgeous...” he ruffled his hand through Remus’ curls with a goofy smile.

Remus wiped his mouth delicately. “I’ll bet you say that to all of the boys.”

Sirius laughed a little, a soft woofing of breath. “I honestly don’t think I’ve ever said that to anyone before meeting you. You’re special to me, Moony. I mean it.”

A flush roared in Remus’ cheeks; he looked horrified by it. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Sirius reached for him, drawing Remus up onto the bed beside him and curling their bodies together, hot skin connecting in a sweat-slippery hug. “I mean it,” Sirius breathed into the shell of Remus’ ear. “And you know what else? I’ve never let _anyone_ in my life tell me what to do. But I found it so fucking sexy when you bossed me about just now.”

Remus jolted back. “Did I? Oh...”

Sirius kissed him deep, sweeping his tongue across the lingering taste in Remus’ mouth. He growled, “It was _hot_. And you certainly give the best blow jobs I’ve ever had.”

Remus’ sudden uncertainty disappeared immediately, swallowed by a wolfish grin. “You’re welcome.”

A door slammed. “Prongs and Evans,” Sirius murmured, nuzzling idly at Remus’ ear. “We’d better get up before they know exactly what we’re doing in here.”

“Hm. Well, at least _you_ don’t need to wash. Where’re your clothes?” they staggered around each other on blissfully limp limbs, idle touches turning sweet and languorous as they passed items back and forth. Remus murmured, “Do we go out there together or separately? Either way it’s kinda obvious...”

“I don’t care if it’s obvious,” Sirius said, watching Remus get his buttons crooked for the second time. “Let me...” he grinned when he Remus shudder beneath his fingers. Finally dressed, Remus gulped down his whiskey and they walked out together.

Lily was leaning against the doorway at the end of the hallway. “Walk of shame, huh?” she beamed at them. Sirius slung an arm around Remus’ waist.

“Oh, I don’t think either of us is ashamed,” Remus batted his eyelashes at her and leant into Sirius’ grip.

“So you fucked?” Lily asked, green eyes glittering.

Sirius laughed when Remus replied simply, “Maybe,” and brushed past the irritated red head.

l-l


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorrynotsorry, brace yourselves. Can't help working in canon elements to all my AUs, so cue minor angst.

_“Sirius, call me as soon as you get this!”_

l-l

Remus had been out dancing. He was celebrating a very pleasing result in his study, and wasn’t going to miss out just because no one was free to join him. Somehow clubs didn’t feel the same without Sirius, though – the lights and music and people were all subtly dimmer. But Alphard was due to go away for work again in less than a week, and had insisted on taking Sirius out first.

Remus went dancing anyway, moving smoothly to the music, even being hit on by a pretty girl who had asked for his phone number. He’d quietly declined, but the memory brought a smile as he walked home later. It reminded him of the night he’d met Sirius and the way they had pressed so perfectly together beneath the strobing lights. It kept him warm as he stalked through the chilly night, shrugging deeper into his jacket.

He walked slowly, enjoying the relative quiet of the sleeping city. Remus missed Sirius as he moved through the shadows of the underpass and headed up towards the road - the sweetly annoying way he nuzzled his hair and curled him close as they walked. Remus loosed a wry sigh, his breath a puff of warm steam. Soon he’d be back at his dorm and could slide into the warmth of his bed, maybe imagining Sirius was there with him...

Remus smiled. He rubbed a hand through his hair and stopped at the curb to wait for the lights to change.

l-l

Alphard was not a man who took no for an answer. So when he insisted on taking Sirius out before work took him away again Sirius joined him with good grace. Like for Remus, it was a night of celebration – he had settled in to Alphard’s home and Wolfson had accepted him for the next semester.

When the two Blacks finally arrived home it was late. They wandered slowly through the perfectly maintained avenues of the park as a low mist began to settle, crossing the street and trudging up the steps of Alphard’s townhouse.

His uncle caught Sirius’ arm as they slipped their coats off in the hallway. “You know lad, things seem to be going well with you and your new chap. I like the pup – you might want to consider inviting him to join you here, what with my being away so often. Think on it.”

Sirius flicked his eyebrows. “Anyone would think you want me to settle down.”

Alphard’s eyes were shrewd. “The bachelor life’s not everyone, lad. And you, my boy, are most certainly _not_ everyone.”

Sirius flushed, his mouth opening in a surprised curl. Alphard laughed and slapped his back fondly before bidding him goodnight and skittering down the entry hall towards his studio. Bemused, Sirius shrugged himself tiredly up to his room, slipping into its chill confines. Streetlights glimmered lowly beneath the window. On his bedside table, his phone flashed a message.

Sirius slid on a cardigan Remus had left behind a few weeks before when he’d helped Sirius move. He snuggled into its soft warmth, relishing the musky cocoa smell that enveloped him. He scrabbled his phone up.

 Electric panic flooded him at the sound of James’ frantic voice. Sirius punched redial without even pausing to check the time.

James picked up instantly. “About fucking time! Where have you been?” he hissed down the line.

Sirius cringed defiantly. “I was out wi-“

“It doesn’t matter!” James snapped. “Sirius – it’s Remus.”

Sirius’ heart dropped like a cold ball of lead in a deep, empty well. His voice caught. “W-what?”

“Sirius, it’s ... well. This’ll be better face-to-face. Are you at Al’s?”

“James – _what_?”

“I’ll be there soon.”

l-l

Sirius stamped around the sitting room frantically, Alphard watching him with sharp eyes. Twenty excruciating minutes passed before James finally rang the bell and told Sirius to get in his car.

One look at James and Sirius didn’t dare argue. Alphard offered him a supportive nod and then Sirius hurtled into the night, pouncing into the car beside James. “ _Now_ will you tell me what the fuck is happening?”

James’ face was hard behind his glasses. He cranked the engine, pealing into the blackness. “Remus was in an accident.”

The last glimmer of hope cracked and splintered inside Sirius’ chest. He quaked. “What kind of an accident?”

James’ tongue rubbed across dry lips. “Pads ... a bad one. I’ve called Lyall – that’s Remus’ dad – and he’s on his way. I’m Moony’s emergency contact but the doctors won’t tell me much besides _‘he’s stable’_. The surgery went well, but he’s still unconscious.”

Sirius snatched James’ arm, the wheel yanking hard. “What _happened_? What d’you mean surgery? H-how bad..?”

James swallowed, hard and audible, eyes decidedly fixed on the road. “He was ... _fuck_. Sirius, he was hit by a bus.”

Sirius couldn’t breathe. His eyes burnt and flooded. “What?”

“A double-decker bus.” The words forced themselves heavily over James’ tongue. “He was at a crossing ... and. Well, I really don’t know how bad it is yet. If I did, I’d tell you mate.”

Sirius sat, fingers biting hard into James’ arm. “Drive faster.”

l-l

_Lost somewhere in a sea. Utter dark –night time? Nothing in the sea but dark and pain ... agony, so intense. Waking? Dreaming? Blurred hopeless together._

_Something on face. Drowning in pain-sea. But ... laboured breaths. Night time takes over._

l-l

Sirius and James had waited at the hospital, but the staff were adamant in their policies. When it became clear that they wouldn’t get to see Remus or find out anything until Lyall had been informed, they both returned to Alphard’s house to wait out the night.

 Sirius paced restlessly. James had phoned Lily to update her and eventually fallen into a fitful doze, creased awkwardly in a wingback chair; but Sirius couldn’t keep still. The forced inaction chafed, and not knowing what was happening was beyond hideous. It left him imagining the worst. Sirius paced restlessly. When the adrenaline wore off he made coffee and folded himself into a chair, jigging nervously.

The sun was a distant glint on the window panes when James stretched, groaning. He slid on his specs and blearily looked for Sirius, reaching a sleepy hand out to steal the mug of coffee. He gulped it down with a satisfied murmur and croaked, “What time is it?”

“’Bout six,” Sirius said, his voice a dry, blank crack. “You want some breakfast?”

James shook his head, hair flopping madly. “I couldn’t eat. More coffee though, eh? Then I’ll get in touch with Lyall and we’ll head back to Mungo’s?”

Sirius nodded gratefully, swallowing around the damp lump climbing up his throat.

When they reached the hospital Sirius and James found a tall, wiry man at the nurse’s desk. Even though they’d never met, Sirius recognised Remus’ father immediately: he was lean and wiry like his son, amber eyes keen and sharp behind wire-rimmed glasses. His shaggy hair was greying, but like Remus he exuded an odd gravity despite his mild exterior.

Sirius held back as James and Lyall met with a mutually enthusiastic bear hug. He tipped his weight awkwardly, feeling like an intruder until James waved him over.

Lyall reached for Sirius’ hand, eyes grim. “A pleasure. Sirius?”

“Uh, yes.”

Lyall smiled. His low, gravelly voice was friendly and warm beneath his worry. “Remus has told me quite a bit about you. I wish we weren’t meeting like this.”

Sirius nodded, hair swinging into his face. “Me too.”

“What do they say?” James asked, slipping an arm around Sirius’ waist as the three of them settled into cramped, uncomfortable waiting chairs. Lyall was brisk as he filled them in, stooped forwards and resting his elbows on his knees.

“He’s been stable overnight and he’s going to be fine – that’s the most important part. There’s no serious head injury, but he hasn’t woken yet. The nurse says that’s because of the sedation and they expect him awake sometime today.” Lyall’s voice caught thickly. “He wasn’t hit at speed. It’s the only reason he’s alive.”

James sighed, slipping his glasses off and rubbing a tired hand across his face. “So what did happen?”

Lyall gazed down at his twined hands. “Apparently, Remus was waiting to cross the road and the bus jumped the curb, trying to beat the light. It clipped him as he moved back. He’s badly bruised and has broken ribs which caused internal injuries ...   he was lucky to have help so quickly or it’s likely he would have died.”

Sirius crunched his thumb between his teeth, and James squeezed him hard. There was little talk after that as they all waited to be allowed to visit. Lyall went in first, staying only a short time before offering the chance to Sirius and James.

Remus still hadn’t woken, but he looked to have spent a restless night. He was frightfully pale and bruised against the stark, rumpled linens. Sirius huffed against the caustic sterility of chemicals burning in the air, and slid carefully alongside the bed. James collapsed into the chair beside him. “Gods,” he said, voice hushed as his eyes raked over Remus. “I’m glad Lily isn’t here to see you like this, Moony.”

So was Sirius. Tubes and cables crept from Remus’ chest and arms, attached to various machines. Sirius’ throat ached, swollen closed. He reached out and flipped a curl away from Remus’ brow, keeping his eyes on Remus’ face and not daring to think about the marring injuries hidden by the bed sheets. When he was healed, Sirius would spend days getting to know every scar, reminding Remus just how gorgeous he really was. But for the moment, Sirius couldn’t face the fresh wounds that proved Remus had been torn violently apart.

He brushed his fingers tenderly down the length of Remus’ jaw, soft breath puffing a distant, sleeping sigh against his palm. Something undefined and painful swooped through Sirius’ chest, separate entirely from his panicked grief. He swallowed it down.

l-l

_Gaping nothingness breached by smell –rich, spicy ... pungently floral ... earthy, cutting over chemical sting._

Remus sighed. Around him everything was blackness, slowly opening into a dense but permeable fog. His eyes were heavy as he tried to open them, and he worked his mouth thickly – neither seemed under his control anymore. But even through all the vague muzziness, Remus recognised the smell of rosemary oil. He slurred, “Sirrus?”

“No, Remus _bach_ , it’s me.”

Remus forced his eyelids to work, peering through bleary whiteness and fixing on the swaying features of his father’s face. He looked exhausted, drawn and anxious. A sharp sting in the back of his mind told Remus that something terrible must have happened. Even so, it was nice to see his father. “Tad?”

Lyall smiled. He was trying to explain something, but Remus couldn’t fix on the words. They flickered through the dimness of his brain, misty and shapeless. _Bus ... fractures ... splenectomy ... scars..._ Only at the moment, the words were meaningless sounds tinged with the halo of future anxiety. He realised that the terrible thing had happened to _him_ and tried to focus, but his eyes kept dropping shut and fatigue swamped him. It dulled out everything else.

Lyall’s voice faltered suddenly. He said, “I’m sorry _machgen_. I’ll let you rest.” He crouched over Remus, pressing dry lips to his temple.

“Tad?” Remus whispered, struggling to keep his head above the tugging tide of unconsciousness. “Is Sirius still here?”

There was a warm smile in Lyall’s voice. “I’ll send him in.”

Remus’ cracked his eyes open as Sirius entered the room in a whirl of black hair. “Fucking hell, Remus,” he whispered, stumbling close and scrabbling their hands together.

“Nowhere near,” Remus mumbled reassuringly, blinking at Sirius’ pale, frightened face.

Sirius’ mouth twitched. “You nearly died.”

Remus exhaled softly, squeezing Sirius’ fingers feebly. “I wouldn’t have minded if you’d been by my side,” he murmured, eyes dropping shut again. “But I’m fine. Right?”

Sirius’ breath wafted against his cheek. “Yeah, you are.”

Remus tipped his head blindly, seeking Sirius’ warmth. “Will you lie down and stay with me for a while? I’m so tired.”

The bed creaked and shifted as Sirius carefully swung himself up and settled against Remus’ side. A hand pressed against his jaw, and soft lips covered Remus’ in a sweet, sad kiss. Sirius held him carefully and Remus relaxed, breathing his comforting scent as sleep gradually slipped over him again.

He wasn’t sure if he was dreaming already when whispered words crawled into his ear, “It’d be a privilege to die by your side, Moony...”

l-l

It became obvious that Remus would be restricted for several weeks after leaving hospital. Alphard had offered to put up Lyall while he was staying in London, and Sirius’ usually surly uncle had struck up a surprisingly amicable relationship with Remus’ father. As a result, they swiftly organised for Remus to move into the townhouse upon his dismissal.

By the time he was fit, Alphard had departed for work and Lyall had returned home to Holyhead. In a way, Remus was glad that he’d be able to settle in with less fuss.

“You blokes sure it’s not too soon to be moving in together? You’re always welcome to come and stay with us,” James said quietly when he picked Remus up. They were driving slowly through the city traffic, Remus perched stiffly in the passenger seat.

He shrugged painfully, grimacing. “I think we’ll be fine, James. It’s a big house; we won’t have to be in each other’s pockets. And if it all fucks up I can find another place.”

James stared pensively over the steering wheel. “Sirius can be very ... protective. Almost overbearing for the uninitiated. Thought I’d check if you needed an out.” He glanced at Remus, a slow grin splitting his narrow face. “But I think you’re probably right. You guys just fit.”

Remus chuckled softly, glancing at Sirius fondly in the wing mirror. “Thanks, James.”

When they reached the house, Sirius went to boil the kettle while Remus shuffled painstakingly up to the third floor, James bringing his hospital bag for him.

Remus froze in the doorway of his new bedroom. It was breathtakingly opulent. Not as big or expensive as Sirius’ room it nonetheless reeked of money, freshly dressed in Wolfson red and soft gold. The furniture was dark, antique wood. Remus couldn’t help but think that his own things, waiting to be put away, looked astonishingly inadequate and out of place.

He eased himself tentatively down on the edge of the ancient bed as James stumbled up behind him. James dropped the small bag and grinned. “Okay?”

“Prongs ... this is too good for me.” Remus glanced up anxiously. Electric apprehension strummed through his chest.

“What d’you mean?” James frowned and thumped down next to him. “What is?”

“All of this ... gods. I know _you’ve_ got plenty of money and I’m used to it when I visit, but ... shit, Sirius doesn’t think he needs to support me, does he? I don’t want him to feel I can’t contribute.”

James eyed him blankly. “You really are a daft sod sometimes, Moony. Sirius doesn’t care about money at all. I can tell you honestly – it will never be a concern between you.”

Remus squinted doubtfully, but the ache in his chest turned strangely pleasant. He was mortified when a sudden flush rose in his cheeks.

James noticed. He leered, hazel eyes bright with mischief, “Anyway, what makes you think you’ll be staying in _this_ room for long?” When he laughed, Remus joined in.

l-l

“ _Gnuaghh!_ ”

Remus’ fingers carefully untwisted from Sirius’ hair, slowly stroking down his cheek. Sirius smirked as  raised himself and carefully wriggled up Remus’ body, settling above him. He ducked his head, kissing Remus deep and languorous, sucking one lip into his mouth with gentle possessiveness. Finally edging back, Sirius breathed, “I’ll bet you needed that.”

Remus blinked up at him with lust-dark eyes. “Unh. Uh, yeah... and _fuck_ , you’re getting good at it too.”

Sirius grinned happily. “I learned from the best.”

Remus laughed, fingers stroking the soft skin at the curve of Sirius’ jaw. “Nonce. Hm, so ... your turn now, huh?”

Sirius drew back, a shadow dusting his brow. He held himself warily above Remus’, who looked utterly delightful sprawled wantonly across the new bed linens. He was achingly hard, but the promise of a blow job wasn’t enough to distract him. “Um. Not yet ... there’s something I wanna talk about.”

“Talk?” Remus arched an eyebrow. “In the middle of sex, you want to _talk_?”

 Sirius brushed his fingers against the still-dark bruises littering Remus’ chest. “Well ... yeah.”

Sighing, Remus drew Sirius down beside him, looping an arm around his waist and tugging him close. He pressed cautious lips to Sirius’ brow. “What is it?”

Sirius paused, collecting his thoughts. It was difficult with Remus stroking slow circles into his hip, steadily moving lower. His cock twitched, pressed invitingly firm against Remus’ thigh. Sirius licked his lips. “Remus ... Moony. Things have been pretty mad for both of us since we met. Right?”

“Right,” Remus agreed mildly. His skin was golden with lingering bliss, but his eyes were sharp and confused.

“The night we met, I thought everything in my life was ruined. I was giving up everything I’d ever known, and well ... well, I was freaking out. But when we met Lily said something to me about having hope. She said that hope is like a light that never goes out.”

“Sirius...”

“But it’s not the only one,” Sirius continued, soft and earnest. He laid his hand flat on Remus’ chest, locking their gazes together. Remus’ heartbeat thudded a tense, breathless rhythm against his palm.

“Sirius.”

He forced the next words out, heart swerving hard against his ribs as nervousness prickled his skin. Vulnerably, Sirius murmured, “There is another light that never goes out...”

Remus swallowed forcibly, voice a hushed rasp. “What is it?”

Sirius met his eyes, gazing for a long moment into deep, steady amber. Remus stared back so intensely Sirius shuddered, but his voice was firm when he said, “Love.”

Remus didn’t even pause. “Sirius ... are you...?”

“Yes,” he replied, rubbing his hand up Remus’ hot skin to cup his cheek.

Remus’ fingers bit into him sudden and desperate, urging their bodies firmly together as he dragged Sirius into a ravenous kiss. The anxiety in his chest exploded in a cloud of shimmering fireworks, drowning Sirius’ brain in pure joy and he clung fiercely to Remus, tasting him, drinking him in.

Long moments later, when they finally broke apart Remus whispered, “Sirius ... me too.”

 

_fin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there it is, finished as originally intended. Thanks to everyone for the lovely comments that convinced me to stick it out and write the whole lot. I enjoyed it, and I hope you did too. :D


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